stop thinking against yourself

That is what I help you turn around.

It’s no wonder you’re feeling how you do!

Perhaps you were bullied. Maybe you were constantly undermined by your boss. Excluded by colleagues. Gaslit. Discriminated against. Unfairly put through a grievance or performance process. Pushed out of a job you loved. Made redundant after years of loyalty.

And now your brain is trying to make sense of it all… hello, inner critic!

You’re not crazy. You’re not dramatic. You’re not overreacting. You’ve gone through some real shit.

You've rewritten that report four times. You still haven't sent it. You're now overthinking whether you're overthinking it.

Your boss said "can we have a quick chat?" half an hour ago and you've already mentally packed your desk.

Last night you lay awake rehearsing both sides of a conversation that hasn't happened yet. You won that conversation. You also lost it. Twice.

You've got a decision to make and you've made a pros and cons list, asked two friends, Googled it, made a second list, and you're no closer than you were a month ago.

You once said "you too" when the waiter said "enjoy your meal." You think about it every time you drive past the restaurant.

None of this means something is wrong with you, by the way.

Nobody knows how loud it is inside your head...

let's go...

Over 10 days, I’m going to help you start noticing the sneaky ways your own thoughts may be keeping old experiences alive.

Not so you can slap a positive affirmation over them and pretend everything is wonderful... because that's not real life.

The goal isn’t to think positively for positivities sake. It’s to think more accurately, flexibly and fairly, without automatically thinking against yourself.

Over the 10-days you’ll learn how to understand and manage the critical voice inside your head, recognise the thoughts and beliefs that may be working against you, and develop ways of thinking that support you instead.

When you do this work you will stop overthinking, control your inner critic and calm your mind.

A 10-day experience starting 9th October 2026 - £47

For women who want to quiet the noise inside their head after workplace abuse, bullying, toxic leadership, job loss or another confidence-shaking workplace experience.

Introducing: Stop Thinking Against Yourself™

10 x Daily Tasks

Each day, I’ll introduce you to one common unhelpful thinking pattern and show you how it might be appearing in your actual life. You’ll get a short, practical handout explaining the thinking pattern, examples of how it can show up after difficult workplace experiences, and questions you can ask yourself when you catch your brain doing it.

Exactly What's Included For Just £47

10 x Coaching Tools

Alongside the daily tasks, I’ll share 10 different coaching tools to help you manage your inner critic, challenge unhelpful thoughts and take back some control from that critical voice inside your head. By the end of the experience, you’ll have your own toolkit of practical techniques you can come back to whenever you notice yourself overthinking, ruminating, catastrophising, second-guessing or slipping back into old patterns.

2 x Live Calls

On Sunday 11th October at 7pm, we’re going live for The Stop Thinking Against Yourself Workshop. I’ll be teaching you more about how difficult workplace experiences can influence the way you think, where your inner critic and that annoying voice in your head might come from, and, most importantly, what you can actually do about it.

Then on Friday 16th October at 1pm, we’re going live again for a hot-seat coaching call. This time, you’ll have the opportunity to bring the thoughts that have been getting inside your head and be coached through them in real time. These calls will be recorded if you cannot attend live.

10 Days of Community

For 10 days, you’ll join me inside a private Telegram community alongside other women recovering from workplace trauma. Women who get it. There’ll be plenty of opportunities to share your experiences, connect with others, ask questions and get support as you put what you’re learning into practice.

Spoiler alert: It's not.

And the really cruel part is you know you're doing it. You can watch yourself spiral in real time, narrating the whole thing like a documentary you can't switch off. Here she goes again…

You've tried to sort it. The books. The apps. The journalling. Yoga. Meditation. Someone once told you to "just think positive" and you've never fully forgiven them.

Nothing sticks - and you're starting to wonder if this is just how your brain works now.

You've missed opportunities - not because you weren't good enough, but because by the time you'd finished weighing it all up, the moment had gone. The job. The conversation. The pitch you nearly made before your brain talked you out of it.

Every decision takes three times longer than it should. What to say. What to wear. What to have for dinner. Whether that text you sent an hour ago sounded passive aggressive. Whether you should send a follow-up to clarify. Whether the follow-up makes it worse.

You're knackered from thinking too much.

None of this is your fault by the way. You've gone through some real shit. It's no longer you feel the way you do.

count me in

But the good news is these are patterns, not permanent truths. Your brain learned them to keep you safe. And what it learned, it can unlearn. That's what we're working towards over these 10 days.

If you could have just stopped, you would have done it years ago.

A thinking mind is going to think. That's what it does. The problem isn't that you think too much. It's where all that thinking is directed.

Is it helping you prepare - or convincing you you're about to fail? Is it helping you make sense of something - or pulling you into a spiral about what it means about you as a person?

Same brain. Same thinking ability. Completely different direction.

When thinking turns into self-criticism, catastrophising, and endless second guessing, that's not thinking. That's thinking against yourself.

And the exhausting part is not just the thinking. It's the thinking about the thinking. Wondering why you can't just let things go.

The answer to overthinking after workplace trauma isn't to stop thinking. That's like telling someone with insomnia to just go to sleep.

join now for £47

This is your new normal.

This is you - with a quieter inner critic, a clearer head, and a lot more self-trust.

You feel lighter. Calmer. More in charge.
Like your mind finally got the memo that you’re not in danger 24/7.

You open your inbox. There’s a tricky email. You reply. Hit send. Done.
No overthinking. No rewriting it five times. No spiralling about whether you “sounded aggressive.”

You speak up in a meeting - without mentally rehearsing every word like it’s opening night at the West End.

You apply for the role. You pitch the idea. You set the boundary.
And you don’t crumble into a puddle of second-guessing two minutes later.

You delegate something (gasp) - and don’t lose sleep over it.

You hear feedback - and don’t take it as a personal attack on your worth as a human.

You say no. You rest. You stop apologising for things that were never your fault. And you actually believe yourself when you say, “I’ve got this.”

This isn’t some fantasy land where you become a totally different person.

What Life Starts to Look Like
When You Stop Thinking Against Yourself

my story

I lost my job on February 8th 2017. I know the exact date because my brain wouldn't let me forget it.

I'd spent almost thirteen years in the same company. HR. Leadership. Recruitment. I was the dependable one. The one who stayed. Until one day, without warning, I wasn't.

And the thing that broke me wasn't the job loss. It was realising I'd tied every single piece of my self worth to a role that could be taken away in an afternoon.

I did what overthinkers do. I replayed it endlessly. I blamed myself. I lay awake analysing every conversation for signs I should have seen coming. I smiled through every "things could be worse" and "you didn't even like it there" while falling apart.

On the train home that day, somewhere between humiliation and heartbreak, I made myself a promise. Never again would someone else have that much control over how I felt about myself.

So I did something that made no logical sense. I sat in the middle of a breakdown and started building a coaching business. It didn't feel brave. It felt like the only option that was mine.

That was nearly a decade ago. Since then I've rebuilt myself from the inside out. I'm far from polished and nowhere near perfect (who is?) but I'm someone who finally understands her own mind instead of being at war with it.

I came into this with a psychology degree and 15 years in HR and leadership behind me. I've since added an accreditation in transformational coaching. But the thing that makes me good at what I do isn't on any certificate. It's that I've lived inside an overactive brain - and found the way out.

I'm Tanya, by the way. 40-something Scottish introvert, empath, HSP, chronic pain warrior, cat mum, and someone who will absolutely Google the ending of a film twenty minutes in.

I don't just coach from theory. I coach from the wreckage, the rebuild, and everything I learned on the way back up.

coach me